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Long live all maidens

easy and beautiful !

Long live mature women also,

Tender and loveable and full of good labor. 

Gaudeamus Igitur

« True Confessions | Main | Of Gardens and Gospels/ Tears and Tantrums »

Je Suis Malade ... et Vous?

I know ... where have I been?!

Strange how we can live in the same city and still feel as if we've disappeared off the face of the earth, to put it bluntly. Ever since Monday’s ghastly session (when already I felt vulnerable) and during St.Hildegarde's afternoon recitals last week, my second brain (stomach) revealed the slow rumblings of events to come. Cancelling classes, a rare thing for me, became the only way, as I wallowed in misery, distressed on my computer room couch. Reading became an effort. Everything became an effort. All I did was look out at the pines. So you go through the stages, sick of seeing the bathroom, the choking in the night, the heaving chest and then you say to yourself, I must have the flu! A summer flu? Really.

My imagination has gone crazy and the world seems to be passing me by. Everything moves except me. I look in the mirror and wonder who is this? - that swollen nose, peeling at the base like a day old sunburn, those remote pig-like eyes, pink at the rims, that dead hair crowning a bleak face. This isn't even me, I say to myself.

It's as if everything else becomes the dream; Francis (I know ... who is he?), the writing class (thank goodness that'll be over soon), my workout classes (was I really doing all that?), the emails to Dutch aunts (they're waiting) and all that end of year stuff at the school that isn't even over yet. Ughh! All that pushing.

Sarah, I’m just touching base and hope to feel better ASAP and want to continue our stories. 

My head swims. Should I see a doctor?



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