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Long live all maidens

easy and beautiful !

Long live mature women also,

Tender and loveable and full of good labor. 

Gaudeamus Igitur

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Friday
Apr092010

Reality Checks

Hi Sarah,

I apologize for sounding so flippant. Not sure why I do that sometimes, but it probably buys me time and puts off having to deal. I'm always looking for a lighter side just so I can avoid the deeper issue at hand. Well, it's gotten me through this far so it must work at least some of the time!

I'll answer your question as truthfully as possible and can really only speak for myself. I don't feel I was 'contemplating infidelity' when I met up with Francis, although we once shared something very special so many years ago. When I look at photos or really think about it I wonder who was I then? Right now it's more curiosity than anything else. I don't have a great need to get involved with anyone else. But a sharing of minds with another male (or female) can be vitalizing. I know what you're thinking. Francis and I shared more than that in our university days ... so what now?

After a lifetime of commitment and dedication to the person we each chose, loved and married, got used to, had our children with, this temptation creeps in; how would something else, someone else, feel, what would it do for us, for our marriages? But aren't comparisons odious?

would like to meet Francis occasionally, share the Dutch language and our childhood memories. Our impetuous conversations back then were never-ending. The topics ventured in all directions. We were young. Perhaps it's the tying up of loose ends or maybe we both have this need to see what that was all about. Such a flurry it all seemed: often I see a blur of us together, me in my red and white polka dotted miniskirt (stay that way forever, he'd said then, stroking my thigh) and Francis in his Bounce smelling white turtle neck holding me up (a little loopy) as we exited Toronto's last Speakeasy on Bathurst. I recall having six beers, the most I have ever had in my life at one go. I was basically a good girl.

 And you ... what were your secrets? I know you had a good time in Montreal as you've alluded to here and there. Is how we are now, affected by how we were then? 

 Don't you think that your meeting Eddy and feeling something, and in my case, seeing Francis, for coffee (or Irish coffee!) could be just another enriching experience of whatever sort, that could perhaps enhance or help define, the essence of our own marriages? We'll talk about this later on at Koerner. I spell things out more succinctly in print ... therefore the preliminary epistle.

One thing strikes me: arthritis is a reality check. Not sure what all ailed your aunt but I don't believe her pastel pill bottles were badges of honour for her ... maybe just a last hope and a means of controlling a life and holding on in the only way she was able. 

Adria

 

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