Recent Entries

Long live all maidens

easy and beautiful !

Long live mature women also,

Tender and loveable and full of good labor. 

Gaudeamus Igitur

« Finally Understanding Prufrock | Main | A Hedonistic Hedgehog »


Hi Sarah,

Your email is to me yet another 'reality check’, with your candid account of your present and future. I know what you mean about the word RETIRE and all the weight it holds, and how we used to balk at the sound of it, connecting it with our parents, our aunts and uncles who would always be planning and talking about these things with very serious faces. This was so ridiculous now that we know better. Yet, the very fact of making the decision seems to be tied in with our self-esteem in a way it just shouldn't be. So ironic that all through such a demanding career as yours, for example, teachers complain how overstressed they are, how overloaded, how there is so much else out there that they'd like to be doing, but when the moment arrives there is this continual mental tugging and justification going on. I know ... forty-five would be a nice age to retire while one is not having to compromise about this or that. Life is so damned short.

Yesterday at the workout club I bumped into one of my gym friends, changing in the locker room. Her top half was uncovered and she was a little thrown by my sudden presence as I only ever see her fully clothed in action in the gym. Oh let me cover myself so you won't have to see me this way. You are still so young and beautiful. She grabbed her T-shirt and began to tell me how she was once really beautiful and did I believe her. She had a case of folliculitis all around the base of her hairline which was bright red and which embarrassed her to no end. Her hairdresser had told her to stimulate her scalp with a brush. This is one fantastic, involved-in-life lady, an artist who reads and is curious and is in love with living, so much, she can't deal with it ever ending. After our half-hour long locker room chat (much of it whispered so other members wouldn't hear) we were both feeling better for having had a shared bitching session. Her daughter, a social worker, had pointed out that catastrophising could be very detrimental to one's well being, because that is precisely what she'd (I'd) been doing.

Case in point!!

 From now on I will refer to my feet as having been injured, which I think they truly were due to neglect and over exercise. I tell myself the injury will heal and it will. Trying to stay positive. Am looking into special diet and considering drinking ozonated water. We don't need that fluoride stuff for anything.

 I totally agree with you about Chloe. Definite intrusions to my comfort zone. What was Egoyan trying to prove indeed?! Chloe was demonic in my eyes. Well cast though, with that calm unflinching demeanour. I find the film somewhat unrealistic. It reflects such a small part of society that I almost want to dismiss any of its merits, except for those memorable Toronto shots. And yes, tits-a-plenty, for anyone who might benefit from these artsy shots.

 Just going over to Kurt and Catherine with Carlo for fish and chips and want to work on tomorrow's assignment when I come home. Closet cleaning has temporarily been curtailed due to other pressing concerns. It's all about motivation. Hope you can feel secure and let go of some of the tensions re. your Monday new quad. We don't need more stress.

 Strange that just a few years ago Catherine and I stood on the old square in Krakow facing St. Mary's, the 13th Century church where the state funeral will be held for the Polish president and all the others who died in that horrible airplane crash last week. A trumpet player appears in an upper window every day at the same time, upholding the timeless tradition of playing a solemn fanfare. The president will be interred at Wawel Cathedral on Wawel Hill, where we sat on a terrace and had tea near the impressive entrance. It just brings it all a little closer.

 Take care, 



PrintView Printer Friendly Version

EmailEmail Article to Friend

Reader Comments

There are no comments for this journal entry. To create a new comment, use the form below.

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.

My response is on my own website »
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>